Scariest moment as a mother

I am a movie buff. Or rather I was one. Then parenthood happened and our movie mania started crawling. Even I watched a sad heartbreaking moment I used to feel sad and forget about it few minutes later. I was resilient whenever I faced road accidents or physical injuries. But my recent experience of worst feeling ever made me forget all gloomy things in life.

So, what happened? I saw my 25 months old son Penguin was licking the mosquito repellent. That was my worst nightmare. I obviously freaked out but my body stopped moving. I was profusely sweating. All words of my social media friends who had a similar experience and kids were ill, all scenes played in my head. I forgot my mobile phone password in panic. Taking a breath, I knew I can’t act like this and my child was looking at me as if I lost mind. Of course, that wasn’t untrue.

I picked him up and ran to my neighbor. She realized something was wrong with one look at me. I explained my fear and with her help made Penguin drink warm salt water. Irony of the situation, my boy drank half a glass and smiled. He further complimented me saying ‘tasty’. Don’t know if boy was trying to ease me out or it was his innocence.

He didn’t puked. Nor was he inactive or anything. Rather he demanded apple milkshake from his aunt, my neighbor. After 1 and half hour he asked me to breastfeed. He slept while breastfeeding and I cried a river imagining all what if. Then I saw that refill was empty. Still I was afraid all day.

We cuddled for long that day. Kisses were frequent. And every time I was teary. Nothing happened to him. Thankful to God.

As, I recap that morning I remember noticing the repellent machine above a cupboard. Refill had finished and I had went to get a new one. But once I reached kitchen, I saw rice was almost done and I had to drain off excess water. Then pressure cooker whistled. I forgot about that repellent refill sitting on cupboard. We went out 1 hour long outdoor play. Once back Penguin put his shoes back on the stand, I helped him to wash his hands and leg. I entered washroom to wash my hand and face. While wiping my face I saw that horrible scene of Penguin licking repellent refill.

Hopefully, next time I would act better. Drop unwanted dangerous stuff immediately. Don’t forget it anymore. And most importantly, take a breath before panicking. This also made me realize to teach my son how to identify danger and act.

My house is 99.9 % baby-proof and yet this happened. Pray, no parent face this ever.

This also made me realize, living in nuclear family and without any major help or support system is like walking over broken glass pieces. I do have a domestic help for cleaning who come for an hour every day. Apart that, our meals, snacks, laundry and playing with Penguin is done by me. After months of search we still can’t score a help who could come 9-6ish or cook. This is exhausting.

God, I began with my scary experience and ranted on exhausting work. I do love Penguin so much but no one ever enlightened me earlier motherhood is so tough.

Hope, mothers get a good support system and strong cup of hot tea.

Do you have any support system around you? If you do, how do you appreciate them?

Sharing one of my biggest failure moment as a mother, to say other moms take a breathe and it is okay to stubble in motherhood journey. Learn from others and grow.

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